After a long wait I’ve finally been able to start some therapy. It’s not the first time I’ve tried it, having had counselling and CBT in the past. I didn’t really find either of them that helpful in the long run. What has helped is mindfulness and hypnotherapy.

I’m not sure specifically why it didn’t help, as I know it does help a lot of people. For me at least, I think my issue is trying to find my way to a clear head and clarity of thought. I found counselling too open ended and I’ve referred before to talking not always actually helping and that’s probably part of it.

CBT I found too mechanical and contrived. It didn’t help me on a deeper level and was just too simplistic for me. Studying Psychology probably hasn’t helped as I’m rather cynical about the methods that are going to be used and it could definitely be a barrier.

I’ve tried and will try again to be as open minded as possible, as I do need the help and don’t want to be where I’m at but it’s hard not to go into this with scepticism again.

By this point, I feel like I’ve simply repeated my story to a number of different health professionals and I never really get past that part, so I’m hoping maybe it will be different this time. But I can’t help but just feel that putting energy and effort into something else that isn’t going to work is just going to be counter productive, and then it will become a self fulfilling prophecy.